Six Reasons Michael Moore is a Clueless, Leftist Moonbat

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Noted political analyst, Marxist and propagandist Michael Moore finally weighed in with his advice to the Obama camp. In a piece entitled "How the Democrats can blow it, In six easy steps," the communist sympathizer details how Obama could lose what Moore calls the "most winnable presidential election in American history." (What does that even mean? Haven't all presidential elections been exactly 100% winnable by somebody?) Ignoring the fact that I don't think much can save Obama at this point, (which I will detail soon in a post I'm working on called "10 Reasons Obama Will Lose in November") let's take a look at the genius at work. I'm going to give the reader credit and avoid liberal use of the
tag, but just pretend it's all over.

1. Keep saying nice things about McCain.
2. Pick a running mate who is a conservative white guy or a general or a Republican.
3. Keep writing speeches for Obama that make him sound like a hawk
4. Forget that this was a historic year for women.
5. Show up to a gunfight with a peashooter.
6. Denounce me!

Remember, these are how Obama can lose, according to Moore. On the first one, I think Moore is right, Obama needs to start being meaner to McCain. He should start referring to him as "old man" during their dabates, as in "don't tell me what America should be doing, old man." College kids love other defiant youths who don't take any guff from The Man. He could add a "John McCain is so white..." comic routine to his stump speeches. That would go over well with his core audience, and certainly wouldn't upset anyone. And Moore is right when he says he shouldn't note that McCain is a war hero. Instead he should rip McCain for not being smart and courageous enough to avoid being taken as a POW.

Moore's second tip is equally profound. Obama must pick a leftist woman, preferably one of color. Unfortunately, most female, black, leftist politicians are considered outright moonbats by most of America, so he probably needs to suck it up and pick a white woman. Two come to mind immediately. There is Arizona's governor Janet Napolitano, who would shore up his illegal immigrant vote. But I'm thinking he already has that demographic pretty well sewn up. So my choice is anti-war mom Cindy Sheehan. Picking Sheehan would make Speaker Pelosi eternally grateful, as she would get to avoid trying to out-leftist Sheehan in a run for her house seat. This would also allow him to make inexperience his ticket's main positive. If you really want to run against McCain as "Bush's 3rd term," nothing would do it like this. Imagine VP candidate Sheehan stalking Bush at his ranch, threatening to starve herself to death until we leave both Iraq and Afghanistan.

Third, Moore again hits the nail on the head. Barack Obama needs to be making speeches that make him out to be the peacenik hippie that he always wished he could be.Along with this, he needs to quit bathing. If he hasn't already won the Europeans over, this would do the trick. It's a well-known fact that American voters in time of war love politicians with no military experience, foreign policy experience, and who just want to allow everyone to live in peace and happiness.

Point four is obvious. Obama's constituency demands that all people be defined by their race, sex, ethnicity, income level, education, etc. But Moore doesn't stop here, he brilliantly notes how Michelle Obama needs to be made a front-and-center piece of his election campaign.

Michelle Obama has been one of the most refreshing things about this election year. But within weeks of the end of the primary season, the handlers stepped in to deal
with the "Michelle problem."

What problem? She speaks her mind? She wears what she wants? Her biggest sin, according to the punditocracy, was to say that, as a black woman, this may be the first time in her adult life she's been really proud of her country. Shock! Surprise!
Outrage! But not from any of the black women I know.

Yes, Americans love rich women who have received every possible benefit in their adult lives due to the color of their skin. And the fact that she emerged from this experience bitter and disparaging of her country makes her an exceptional voice for all those down-trodden people who are only able to earn a few hundred thousand dollars per year, and only because of who their husband is.

The fifth one is equally genius.

As they smear you, your family, your religious beliefs — cower, back down, go on the defensive.
If they say you should quit your church, quit your church! If they explode over your speaking the truth about the anger and despair of the white working class, take it all back!

Obama should immediately return to his church. Heck, going back to number three, he could quickly dump Cindy Sheehan and name Reverend Wright as his vice president. And he should embrace his comments about middle Americans bitterly clinging to their guns and religion. In fact, he could point to his wife as a shining example of how to make bitterly clinging to your religion work for you, with no need for guns. It takes a true warrior to cling to their bitterness without the aid of a machine gun.

Finally, by all means, he should embrace Michael Moore's support. I almost fell off the chair when I read this:

I remember poor John Kerry not even being able to admit, when asked by Larry King, if he had seen Fahrenheit 9/11. "No," he said, "I haven't. . . . I don't plan to, right now." But he had indeed
seen it. I sat there watching him say this, and I just felt sorry for him and for the election he was about to lose...

So Barack, by denouncing me, you can help McCain get elected.
Because when you denounce me, it's not really me you're distancing
yourself from — it's the millions upon millions of people who
feel the same way about things as I do. And many of them are the
kind of crazy voters who have no problem voting for a Nader just to
prove a point.

I love how Moore accurately depicts people who like his views as people who are crazy enough to vote for Ralph Nadar. It's probably the truest thing he said in the whole piece.

If Barack Obama has any hope left of winning in November, we can only hope he heeds Moore's advice.